I've been busy lately, trying to get bills in order, find enough cash to get food and smokes and gas to at least get to work. I haven't had a hot shower in two weeks, I've been living off ramen noodles, and I'm smoking off-brand mexican cigarettes. I've been getting less than three hours of sleep a night, at best. I'm drained right now, financially, mentally, physically. Needless to say I've been feeling a little down.

So, to cheer myself up, I went to an old friend's party last night. Not much has changed with her for the past three years. I saw a lot of people I used to know there. Not much had changed for them either.
"So what ya doin for work these days?"
"Unemployment checks."
"Where ya living now?"
"Still with my parents."
"Hows the girlfriend?"
"We broke up about a year ago."
At least something fucking changes. It's like I went through some fucked up wormhole into my adolescence.

The funniest thing about this party wasn't the old familiar faces, but the brand new people taking up the roles of the ones who had left. I had never seen half of these people before in my life, yet everything about them seemed familiar. It's like when a sitcom switches out an actor but leaves the role exactly the same; brand new face, same character. It amazed me to see how quickly we become stagnant. Sitting back on our self-made comfort zones, seldom seeking any form of outside stimulus except that which comes from a glowing rectangular cube. Driving home with the gas light in my car flashing warnings of new problems to come, I saw my muse smiling at me from the rear view mirror.

I fell asleep thinking things aren't really so bad.